My name is Alejandra Sanabria, I am from a town in Cartago, Costa Rica.
All of us, without exception, have a vocation, that is to say, a reason for being, for existing, a unique and unrepeatable call from God for each one of us. I will tell you how I discovered this dream of God in my life.
As a child, I grew up in a family that instilled Christian values in me, I was a pious child and I believe that this helped me in everything I experienced later on, because in my youth this was already fading away.
When I came into contact with other realities, people, the things of the world were seducing and attracting me, I experienced a real struggle within me, because I wanted to please my parents, who never ceased to call my attention, to dialogue and look for ways to negotiate with me, so that I would not get lost; but I also wanted to go out with friends and spend long times in talks or spending time in the silence of the nights, contemplating the stars, our thirst for immensity was quenched in those mysterious experiences that we did not understand, but that we enjoyed very much.
So the years went by, I had a life, a good job, well paid, friends and even a boyfriend with whom I thought I would share all my life... but something deep inside me made me experience an existential void, I was looking for happiness, the truth, I was looking for myself, everything outside of God, but this made the meaninglessness of life more and more palpable.
It was when I stopped, I became aware that my life was going nowhere and instinctively, as I opened my ears to listen to myself, my eyes rose to the sky and I realised that I was fighting against the only one who could give me happiness.
From then on, my gaze was fixed on Him and I cried out for His help, for I did not know how or where to start again. It was thus that this simple prayer, which came from the soul, managed to attract the gaze and the merciful embrace of the One who is Love, because without knowing how, from that moment on, my life changed radically, He was providing the means and the people who answered my prayer.
Celebrating the Eucharist took on a whole new meaning, in it I experienced the power of God's love, the more I went to the Eucharist the more I felt the need to share this joy, in this new search full of meaning, I came to the Secular Missionary Carmel, a group of missionaries who live the spirituality of the Carmelite Missionary Sisters, and here my heart grew wider and wider: "because love is the only thing that grows when it is given the most". And so, after years of being close to the sisters, of sharing with them, their testimony, the joy of living the Gospel, I felt the invitation to follow Jesus like the first disciples, to leave everything and to live like Him the project of the beatitudes.
That's how I started this experience. Fear!????? Yes, I was, but only through experience is it possible to know if this is really our place.
One day Jesus said to me: "Come and see"... And I accepted the invitation.