I want to be a Carmelite Missionary forever because...
One day, Jesus knocked on my door, came out to meet me and invited me to follow him, just as I was, from what I am and what I have, from my limitations and fears, from my fragility and poverty, from the virtues he has given me and from the dreams he has inspired in my heart. He only called me to be with him and to make him known.
At first I did not understand his choice but as time went by I understood that he called me, because he heard the cry of his People, the cry of so many brothers who are suffering, of so many immigrants expelled from their land asking for freedom, of so many sad children who no longer smile, to help young people who have stopped fighting, losing the ability to dream, and to help bereaved adults and women who feel worthless on their own, forgetting their dignity.
Through these experiences my heart is being formed day by day, more than the theory because just getting in contact with different social and cultural realities, helps me to humanise myself from within, to value what I have and to be more sensitive, often feeling impotence, for their ways of living unjustly and with the desire to change that reality.
I know He called me, not because I was perfect, but simply because He wanted to use me as an instrument. He first sought to initiate in me a process of conversion and healing, leaving aside the masks I once wore, leaving aside my fears to abandon myself to his trust, leaving aside my pride to open myself to his grace, leaving aside my prejudices to get to know others, accepting them as they are, without seeking to change them in any way, finally leaving aside my personal interests, to open myself to his plan of love for humanity.
Thus I began to feel his invitation to be his voice for those who do not yet know him, to be his hands to treat with tenderness those I meet, to be his gaze of mercy for those who feel judged and forgotten, to be his feet to accompany those who feel tired and above all to have a heart like his, where everyone can fit and no one feels excluded. That is why I discover that to be a Carmelite missionary is to lead a life consecrated to Him who looked at us with love and that means, a life united and mixed with the sacredness that Jesus has. To be in Him and He in us, to make a journey of configuration with Christ, a journey that requires personal effort and divine grace, where united to Him I seek to do the will of the Father, where united to Him I pray with a compassionate heart like His for the various situations of the world, so united to Him I seek to act according to His way of loving, treating others as He treats me with tenderness and mercy, so united to him I will share the same fate as his, the fate of being rejected if I am in a certain situation, so in the same way I will suffer experiencing many times the abandonment and loneliness of the loved ones, where only God will be my only consolation, and so united to him I will die so that something new will be resurrected in me and so that others will discover in me the face of Christ.
That is why being a Carmelite missionary means to be like Mary, to proclaim like her the greatness of God in our lives, to go out in haste to meet our brothers and sisters who are most in need, making our "yes" a constant "yes", even accepting the cross in silence, trusting in the will of the Father; that is why Carmel is all about Mary, she is the one who protects and encourages us with her presence.
To be a Carmelite missionary is also to love fraternity in the midst of diversity, making the experience of Mary who let herself be inhabited by the incarnate mystery, only by letting Christ become incarnate in us can we discover God in all things, from the garden of the community, in the recreation and community meetings where we enjoy our life in the midst of daily experiences, in the fraternal details, in the word and the Eucharist of every day, we discover him in the bread we share, in the forgiveness we offer each other, in community prayer, also in the difficulties that life presents to us, in the pastoral where we share our richness and in the mission of being witnesses of communion with all those who come to us.
Lourdes María (Argentina)